Toon Talk Articles- Brian Hall

Vandalism In Town

    Vandalism. A funny old word really. Got a bad name for the original Vandals apparentlly, as they kept being hoofed out of places, so finally took revenge by going on the rampage. To be fair, not a lot of people know that. I certainly did not, until a younger mate of mine told me that was what happened to that lot. As a teenager, I used to associate vandalism with wrecking a ....

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The World Gets Even Stranger

      I suppose by now that we are all used to the world turning upside down. Even in Toon, we somehow find ourselves right next door to the Champions League place, despite the odd calamity here or there.  We are certainly becoming accustomed to almost every institution in the UK, from ridiculous behaviour of banks to rising unemployment figures causing grief. We dont even ....

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A Normal Weekend?

      I don't intend to dwell on the visit of the NUFC to the Royal Palace of King Harry, after his grand return from his brilliant defence in court. I will only say that Southern Ingerland will perhaps not be too keen when the King inherits their Throne. If I could drive, I would not buy the second-hand car off him. Nuff of that, mate, know what i mean. Dont want to get ....

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A Toon Blogger Re-emerges

    After a month or so of exile - some of it imposed by the Great Heaton Bug and the rest forced upon by the Play I am writing that neebody will gan to - time to make a reappearance. I would love to focus more on some of the daft stories, and grave events which have occurred in the world since I last blogged. But first things first, eh. A famous politician, many years ago, said A ....

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    1862. A famous date in our regional history, celebrating a certain Races Trip to Blaydon on a summer's afternoon. A few months earlier, though, there was no joyful gathering of a community up the road at Hartley. That bleak January day saw an occurrence, oh so common in the Northumberland and Durham Land of King Coal, the Black Diamond. A small village was destroyed by a pit ....

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A Spanish View On The Mags - Viva El Nufc

  We like to  think that other parts of the world have heard of the NUFC. I cannot say if that is the case in Outer Mongolia or Tajakstan, but it is certainly true in a land which we would certainly call a football country. Spain. El futbol is King in Espana, although of course their facilities to encourage other sports are aplenty - maybe a lesson there for the UK. Anyway, I can ....

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Never Had It So Good - Hear That Train A Comin, A Comin Down The Track

    A politician once said in the booming early 60s that the British nation had never had it so good. That phrase applied to the Geordie Nation between the years between 1992 and 1997. In that dark February of '92, a certain man returned to the North East for a Second Coming. Back to the land of his Stanley Grandad, the hero of a pit disaster in times long ago. King Kevin Keegan was ....

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Rip. Gary Speed

        I am not even going to try to amend this piece, cross out a word, change a theme. I am just writing this from the heart. On the pitch? A proper footballer, professional, effort unquestioned, skill unquestioned, reliability unquestioned. No wonder Bobby Robson held such regard for him. And the feeling was apparently mutual.   The circumstances surrounding his ....

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Strange And Quirky Matters

        I do not wish to dwell on national media coverage of our defeat on Saturday against Manchester Arabia Billionaire City, or whatever they are called these days, but I must point out that I found one paper yesterday morning a bit strange in that context. They wrote about Micah Richards, their full back, allegedly sending a tweet whilst playing against Newcastle, and ....

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Blows In Life

  We all get them. I am still recovering from some recent blows myself. For example, the name of the football ground I love has been changed, for the time being that is! A hobby I came to love, crosswords, has turned into a disaster and simply proved that I am a total failure. And on top of that, the woman I loved, Meryl Streep, is playing Maggie Thatcher sympathetically in a forthcoming ....

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 Proclamation from His Majesty. King Charles the Second or Mike Ashley the First This proclamation states that, it is most apparent that the multitude of gatherings of many citizens at St James Park and other parts of the  NUFC Kingdom have been allowed  at  the discretion of His Majesty to debateth matters of the Domain. But now the great resort of idle and disaffected ....

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Frank Clark Knows My Father

FRANK CLARK KNOWS MY FATHER, FATHER KNOWS FRANK CLARK-    A NUFC FOLKLORE SONG     The lyrics can occasionally be heard blasting out of some  obscure, remote village pub, to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory, ( far more inspiring too that that Last Night of the Proms dirge) , as Mag buses land somewhere before or after an away match in the Deep South. It is even ....

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Branded - An Open Letter To Mr Ashley

    Dear Mr Ashley   Weh, that is it, eh? The wonderful world of brands being King has finally crashed into a rather special place in the history, culture, heritage, of a very, very big North East institution, as a result of your latest Big Idea. As a 6 year old, I made my first visit to St James Park, home of more than just a football club. A place which held so, so many ....

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Surveys And Statistics

        They always simply could make it up. A right hotchpotch of statistics and surveys emerged during the week. One, for a start, has astonished the Geordie Nation, and quite a few others in the football world. Newcastle United - 3rd in the league, goals conceded  6 , games lost, nil. This is a true stat and I could dwell on it all day but I want to ....

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Just An Ordinary Cup Night In The Life Of Mags- We Have The T-shirt

        Did not really feel like writing yesterday. Writers' block sounds a bit pretentious to describe why inspiration was lacking, so might as well be honest. The sentiment had buggar all to do with any ability to jot down boring blogs. Na. It involved a massive block on noting Life as a Mag.           Aye.  the The Cup Curse returned on ....

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Dangers Around The Corner

        No. I am not talking about the Blackburn Cup tie which could see the Mags enter the quarter-fnals of the League, or Carling Cup if you really want to call it that. I am trying to take my mind off  seriously dangerous thoughts which are lying at the back of my so-called brain - could there be a trophy on the horizon? My attempt to distract myself from that kind ....

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An Ordinary October Weekend

      AN ORDINARY OCTOBER WEEKEND     As if. On Saturday, I joined the lads in town for the match - Glory Hunter, me. Saturday night saw a very good mood, although Sunday morning saw a very bad hangover. Foolishly, I left the Irish Club after the match, and failed to pass the Chilli Arms. It is not every day we are joint third of the Premiership, so that was my ....

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    It is a well known fact that some visitors are welcome, and some are not. Today marks the anniversary of a bunch who, I suppose, fell into the latter category. On this day, 1644, a bunch of Scots tourists arrived in Newcastle, breaking through the walls of the city which was the last stronghold of the Royalists. Now, am no lover of the Royals, and I have Jock family connections, ....

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Great Heaton Cold Plague Demands Entertainment

      The danger of having time on your hands, due to the continuation of the Great Heaton Cold Plague, is , well, is that have you time  on your hands. Given that ManFlu means you cannot be bothered to do anything, forms of Entertainment have to come to you. It did last Sunday, for example, via a couple of newspapers. This allowed me, without major physical effort, to just ....

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Recent Effects Of The Cold Snap

    This may seem a strange title for this blog, given that we in Britain have just had the warmest period recorded for many a canny bit since temperature records began.  Unfortunately, during this period of lovely sunny heat bliss,  certain zones have suffered from pretty cold climes. Not least. Me! And others in the Heaton area, and across Town. Aye, the dreaded Caad, or ....

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North Of The Big River Fights Back Against County Durham Claim To Fame

        Anybody who read the previous blog on famous people associated with old, and often small parts, of old County Durham will recall that I promised to do a North of Tyne piece. Given that I deliberately excluded Durham City itself, I stated that I would exclude the Toon as well. So let's head off across the Big River all the way to Borderland. Holy Island, or ....

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Famous Places South Of The Tyne - Hetton Le Hole, And Many Other North East Rivals

      The last blog spoke of that bloke from Hetton who broke the world record for Heaviest Leek ever, in a Sunday competition up at Causey Arch. It made me think. How many other characters from Hetton alone, have hit fame?  I rang a friend down there in order to check up on any other famous people who have originated from that ex-mining small town, which by the way, is not ....

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Saturday And Sunday Sport

    One thing I need to clear up straightaway.  I am not talking about that Sunday Sport paper with crazy stories and soft porn. That thing was accidentallly bought my Mam once, as she mistook it for the Sunday Sun. You can imagine!! Anyway, back to the Sunday sport last weekend.   Football. To be honest, I have little interest in the televised games. Usually billed at ....

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A Dark History Blog

      I had prepared notes for this blog, and it was going to be light, even humorous. It cant fit that shape after today.  Odd history incidents were to be the theme, but a very grim event, very much related to history, knackered that. 4 dead miners in South Wales. How that must hit the hearts of those in the Swansea Valley , and far beyond. It hit me. Very few people up ....

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Worries And Concerns

          We all have them, obviously. Take the current financial crisis. I am not talking about the one in the EuroZone, am talking about the one in the HeatonZone of Newcastle. Our system operates on the same principle as the global economy. A lends B, C lends D, and  X pays Y back, and so on. Unfortunately, Heaton economists are worried that some local ....

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