By Brian Hall
Wednesday 28 Aug 2013 12:39:00
Browse all Brian Hall articles

MARRIAGE By Brian Hall


Not for the first time the other day, I was thinking of marriage. Not about my own previous two, that is, but the one I ended up in with a Lady called NUFC. She had failed to show up for a Sunday with West Ham, and a mini-blow to our relationship took place. This was simply a little blip, but it reminded me that at least when I said I do to those two women - who are both lovely people but wisely could not live with me in the end - I had had no choice in giving my vows to this Black and White woman. I was disappointed in her, but clearly not remotely on a scale of far more serious situations over decades living with her.


Obviously, the original decision to enter into marital contract with Newcastle United was not in my own hands. How could it have been, as I was only a very small bairn!? The Black and White Marriage was a pre arranged one, by my Dad, Fred next door, our Kid, and a few older mates, at that time.


After all these years, however - time for age confession, I am 50 bloody Five, going on 16 - we are still together. She has never left my life, despite all our ups and downs. At times, I have loved her to bits. On the other hand, there have been moments when I have hated the sight of her, even gone through a trial separation or two, although I never seriously considered divorce. And obviously, there have been many periods in which we have just plodded on, without ecstatic happiness or abject misery, kind of just ticking along together.


In very dark moments, I have declared to mates, and my 2 ex-wives actually, that I was never, ever, gannin back to her. Such times were rare, but were generally a result of total betrayal. I dont want to list those incidents, as that would simply be too painful. Cup Finals, penalty shoot-outs, losses to non-league teams in cups, and so on.


 In blissful periods however, I have been willing to do anything for her. Anything she asked. Support her, follow her whenever she needed me, even in some of her difficult times in the Second Division, or struggling to survive in the First - or Premiership and Championship as they became called.


Throughout it all, she is the bedrock of the whole family - bairns excluded, like. I had to put that bit in! And no matter how things have happened between us, woe betide anybody outside of our massive NUFC family who dare to mock her, criticise her, or try to laugh at her. I have always retained that right, and so do all others amongst her vast numbers of relatives known as the Toon Army or simply, the Mags. Nobody else has that right,if they are not part of the Clan.


At the end of the day, as they say in football, I will never be able to leave her, even though it is clear that I have wished that I could have during some of our massive falling-outs.


 After all our time together, I am wise enough to know that she will let me down again at some point, and possibly humiliate me in public, maybe in front of millions across not just England but many other parts of the globe. I know when that happens, I will be incandescent with rage and fury, call her every name under the sun, and refuse to even take an interest in her for at least 24 hours.


But I know that other times, she will give me joy and happiness, no matter what state the rest of my life happens to be in, at that time.


In short, I would not swop her for the world.



tarah             Brian



ps  as one of my ex-wives on the other side of my life once stated, in a little row we were having over a holiday arrangement which was clashing with a big date with the Black and White Wife - she," NUFC will be in your life long after I have gone"! She was bloody right!

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