DERBY DAYS - THE TEN STEP PROGRAMME TO WIND UP THE SAFC.
By Steve
Friday 19 Oct 2012 12:56:00
Browse all Brian Hall articles
 

 

 

 

We all have our techniques to bait the SMB. As somebody from old County Durham divided lands, and raised as a Shiney Row Mag, i just wanted to throw mine up. I am sure that others will have various alternatives to add, to say the least.

 

The following 10 Steps to Heaven are not in order of how just so much our smaller cousins can react to this process, and can be interchanged.

 

 

1.  SAY THAT YOU ARE NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN THEM, APART FROM BEATING THEM IN A DERBY. ADD THAT NUFC ARE FAR TOO BIGGER A CLUB THAN TO SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON CONCENTRATING ON THE SAFC. BEST TO LEAVE IT TO THEM, IF THEIR ONLY AMBITION IN A SEASON IS TO GET A VICTORY AGAINST THE MAGS.

 

2. ASK THEM IF THEY HAVE FINALLY PACKED IN THEIR SCHEME IN WASHINGTON, FOR EXAMPLE, WHICH SEEMED TO PAY FOR THE KIDS AT SCHOOLS TO GAN TO THE STADIUM OF S. IT DID NOT WORK, AS WASHY IS MORE MAG COUNTRY ANYWAY.

 

3. ALWAYS REMIND THEM THAT THEIR TOWN IS ACTUALLY QUITE SMALL., AND THAT THEIR CITY STATUS SEEMED TO BE BASED ON THE IDEA THAT IT IS A BIG PLACE. BOUNDARY CHANGES LED TO sunland CLAIMING THAT WASHINGTON, SHINEY ROW, AND SO MANY OTHER PARTS OF DURHAM, WERE PART OF THEIR LITTLE TOWN!

 

4. DO STRESS THAT YOU ALWAYS LIKE TO SEE GILLINGHAM DO WELL. SOME OF THEM WILL KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT REMARK. A canny few Mags, a few of  whom I know quite well, visited Joker Park to become Gillingham fans for a day, when the SAFC were getting relegated that afternoon in the 80s, into the old Division 3. The SMB were not amused at the presence of the NUFC characters, but the Glllingham players were over the moon at the backing and support.

 

5. SYMPATHISE WITH THEM ABOUT NOT COMING UP WITH AN ORIGINAL NAME FOR THEIR NEW STADIUM, AFTER JOKER PARK WAS DEMOLISHED. THE STADIUM OF LIGHT IS IN PORTUGAL.

 

6. THANK THEM FOR THEIR THEIR 2-1 WIN AT SJP IN AUGUST 1999. THEY MANAGED TO NOT ONLY GET RID OF RUUD GULLITT, KEEP MR SHEARER ON OUR BOOKS, BUT ALSO GAVE US SIR BOBBY ROBSON AS OUR NEW MANAGER.

 

7. GIVE THEM ADVICE ON STEVE BRUCE. SOME OF THEM THOUGHT HE WAS A MAG. HOW DAFT WERE THAT LOT FOR THINKING THAT ABOUT THE PLASTIC MANC? 

 

8.   JUST SAY................................SHOLA.

 

9.  ALWAYS STRESS THAT YOU LOVE HALLOWEEN. GREAT NIGHT FOR THE BAIRNS, LOTS OF HISTORY BEHIND IT, AND SO ON.

 

10. OK. THE OBVIOUS ONE. WHICH PART OF EUROPE ARE YOU GANNIN TO ON HOLIDAY THIS YEAR?

 

Brian

 

 

ToonTalk editor! Mr W. I am sure you can find another totally different set of Tens, to wind them up. Strangely, they have no sense of humour in relation to us Mags.

 

And just on another note. All our own Ten Steps do not need mocking poverty, disabilities, and worse. We have enough to go on, without that schoolboy crap.                                   Tarah



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