By Brian Hall
Friday 14 Oct 2011 20:20:00
Browse all Brian Hall articles




The danger of having time on your hands, due to the continuation of the Great Heaton Cold Plague, is , well, is that have you time  on your hands. Given that ManFlu means you cannot be bothered to do anything, forms of Entertainment have to come to you. It did last Sunday, for example, via a couple of newspapers. This allowed me, without major physical effort, to just look, keep looking, at the league table. This source of pleasure continued into Monday morning, with the arrival of another paper. Newcastle United in the top 4. That's Entertainment! Good start to the Season.


Mind you, I also found other routes of distraction from the Plague over this very long week. The End of the Season approached, unfortunately not the footy one, as I will settle for fourth place for the Mags. No, it was the end of that Party Political Conference Season, a time of the year when the various Parties meet themselves for a few days. Delegates assemble in a kind of Outer Space bubble, detached from Planet Earth. They spend days and nights there - used to take place at canny or grubby seaside towns, but seems to have shifted to Birmingham, Liverpool, and Manchester . They all generally have a canny old time. Believe me, I used to work in some of that stuff. Each speech from the top guys - and some women - is portrayed as vital, important, crucial - and the audience believes the hype, generally unaware than nobody is really listening to that most vital, important, and crucial speech. Except them, and the accompanying media circus. Still, a kind of Entertainment, eh.



Amidst the Great Heaton Cold Plague, some major entertainment did break out for me as I watched the Turning On of the Lights. Not the Blackpool ones, nor the Xmas ones, but those in my kitchen. The sockets there had blown facilities, including that of much-needed cooker which was required for nourishment for the Cold victim. Wednesday also brought chuckles about a plan for supermarkets to provide legal services. Where will this all end, I thought? Tesco Village with doctors, schools, churches, and football grounds, all behind the shelves or on the extra land they have just bought.  Add on some rented accomodation next to the garages, and we might just as well all live in Sainsbury Town or whatever. Everything provided, man. They need to bring in some Entertainment though.


Recovery from illness is always helped by laughter, as we know, and I could not but smile at a plot gannin on in the USA at the minute. Some people have taken to the streets in protest about bankers and the very rich ripping everybody else off. I tend not to hide the fact that I feel that there has been one helluva rip-off  which has created this global financial and economic mess, but any natural sympathy for the peaceful US protest did not get past the starting post. They were calling it all the American Spring. Doh, as Homer Simpson would say. It is bloody Autumn, man - how can you be expected to be taken seriously if you call your movement that, I thought. After a couple of day, one American seemed to work this out, and began to call the campaign, weh, the American Autumn.


Two sources of fun really did emerge after this long week of coughing, spluttering, and dragging myself about from bog to bedroom to boring TV. One was simply due to major signs of recovery from all that. 


But with it came a stronger wave of contentment, related to plans for Sunday. Entertainment is in town. The collection of Newcastle players turning out on the pitch against a Liverpool assortment . Shearer, Tino, General Robert E Lee, and loads of others from that 90s era when this city was simply host to the most entertaining footy team ever to have embraced the Premiership. Generally accepted fact. And why are they together? Fun, aye, Entertainment, aye, but above, for Charity. A bloody lot of hard work has gone into this initiative.....................................a lot.  


And that charity money will be going to many individuals who have a lot more to complain about than the Great Heaton Cold Plague.







and a bloody well done to the characters who have worked so hard to produce the Sunday event. They know who they are.

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