By Brian Hall
Sunday 02 Oct 2011 16:20:00
Browse all Brian Hall articles



This may seem a strange title for this blog, given that we in Britain have just had the warmest period recorded for many a canny bit since temperature records began.  Unfortunately, during this period of lovely sunny heat bliss,  certain zones have suffered from pretty cold climes. Not least. Me! And others in the Heaton area, and across Town. Aye, the dreaded Caad, or cold for those who dont know our language up here.


The Man Flu can cause real problems for the Lads, and indeed, fear. I once mistook symptoms for, well, just a cold, and ended up with pneumonia. This in itself led to possibly one of the most ill-timed jokes a mate has ever made - I was despatched to the hospital, only to confront a fire alarm which had led to all patients in that section being forced outside. I had to stand outside, after my emergency landing. Don, the so-called friend, rang me exactly at that moment, to check on some scheme or other, I told him my situation, and his reply??? Careful, you might catch the death of Caad out there. 


Anyway, I feel the main source of menace regarding Caad generally does involve catching pneumonia. Rather, it surrounds the threat of phone calls, or, if you can just about venture out to the shop with a heavy doze of it, a major source of danger. Keep quiet is the best way in my experience. If you mention it on the telephone or at that corner shop, then somebody pipes up that they had it worse last week, another had it for weeks, and of course, yet another one says there is a lot of it about. The real damage here is that this leads to a rise in your blood pressure - nowt to do with your real condition. Do you really want to hear that somebody had it far worse, or that another could not shift it for weeks!!?


Heavy Caad also leads to other dangers. You are bored, so you start listening to radio or watching telly that you normally avoid. That happened to me over the last few days. Tuned into TalkSport only to hear the Great Debate on Tevez - some Manchester City superstar who did not fancy turning out on a footy pitch, despite his 250 grand a week wages. Good God, I thought, what would he be like if he got Caad!


I quickly had enough of that debate - my sympathy levels for an overpaid footy brat were hardly going to be high in my condition - and tuned into Radio 4, only to hit BBC-connected middle class comedians coming out with rather unfunny stuff, and then hear some BBC-connected playwright coming out with some rather disintersting stuff under the guise of it being called a Play. Retreated to the telly, only to hit the latest stage of the Party Conference Season - believe you me, Ed Milliband is nee remedy for a Caad. After a later period of telly-watching, involving some obscure celebrity doing out a garden, or kitchen - I cannot remember which - it was time to keep taking the tablets. ASAP.


Still, looking on the bright side, some warmth can always emerge in times of cold climes. I found mine yesterday afternoon - tuned into coverage of Newcastle United away at Wolves, and embraced another victory. Warm glow, better than the tablets really. And today, I looked at the league table, before Chelsea have played of course. Third of top for NUFC. Suffering from Caad?? Forget it, vertigo more like it.



Tarah.                   Bry


ps               there were two lovely pieces on telly during my Heaton Cold Spell. One told the story of Bert Trautmann, the Manchester City goalkeeper in the 50s, an ex-German POW. He played on in a FA Cup Final with a broken neck. And the other? A story from Russia TV, covering paraplegic sports characters getting awards from around the world for their incredible determination. Both items made me feel guilty of feeling a tadge bit sorry for myself with the Caad. And a wee bit angry with the likes of Tevez and others in our national game on such grossly overpaid salaries. 


a pps quote.          "If it stays as it is, I can't see things altering." Graham Taylor, former England manager and would-be footy expert.  I hope these wise words of wisdom do not apply to my Caad!!!

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