Dr Thompson reports on England - Part 2
By Alexander Dawson
Saturday 03 Dec 2011 11:51:00
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Continued from Part 1

I looked down to the bar, zoomed in and grabbed the book that had been laid before me by a wisp. It was entitled ‘Danny Mills and Boon’ and could be my passport to knowledge of the goal I had only just missed. I perused the first few pages then flicked from front to back fishing out salient words that might clue me into finding the spot where I had lucked out and missed Sweden concede.

Here it was… being a Danny Mills and Boon book I took some extra air through my nostrils and hesitated. Now was my chance. I just had to read, but this was Bat country and I had to be careful.

 

Article continues below

 


‘Baines loitered on the left and had been eying Downing up and down for some time and was waiting, hoping he would make his move. His chest beating with excitement Baines flirted with his target and Downing found himself in space. He glanced up and saw Barry come forward expectantly and the ball came in as if straight from Cupid’s arrow. Barry stepped forward and rose. Barry stiffened in the air. He was well hung. He then writhed and twisted, his back arching with motion akin to a swelling wave and caressed the ball across the Swedes’ mouth (of goal) until it lay in the fishnet. He panted like an animal, assessed his conquest and enveloped Downing in his strong arms.’

I slammed the slut book shut… so Barry had scored from an open play cross from Downing, ay? Leighton Baines had contributed well and England had scored a good goal against a voluminous defence, ay? This had been worth seeing. This was enough… I could write some kind of article based around this. Thank the Gods I had learned of this else what was I going to do? My attorney had been prodding at his Smartphone and was about as advantageous to me as Carlton Cole had been to England during his international career. I could cut him loose again and stay 1-0 up. He could only make things worse for me now. I headed for the exit. On the way out I saw a sign. ‘Refurbishment. Coming soon.’ How did they know?… had I been speaking aloud again?

 

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